Whenever I hear a woman say "I don't roll with other women, women have too much drama, I don't travel with women, I only like hanging out with men"...or anything of that sort I immedialty look at them with a super side eye. My first thought is “who the hell are you hanging around” you most likely are the bad vibe and other women don't like being around you. If you say this as an adult you’re not surrounding yourself in the proper circle.
I wouldn't categorize myself as friendly, but I'm cool. I have naturally attracted an abundance of female energy. My entire life I have has females that have contributed greatly to me. As a matter of fact, at 34 years old I'm still close to my elementary school bestie. We both grew up and moved from our hometown and live on opposite sides of the country. We will go months and even years between talking sometimes, but when we see each other it's all love and it's like we never skipped a beat. That bond will never be broken.
The women in the pics above are my true ride or dies. Each of them have shaped me into the woman I am today. When I'm in a crises and on the verge of fucking my life up I reach out to them for help. When there's a milestone they are always present and we always support each other in different stages in life. We’re human so of course there have sometimes be attitude, disagreements, times where we pissed each other off…but that’s normal for ANY relationship you have with someone you’re close to. It’s morose like a sibling relationship where you get annoyed, but there is much love there.
Never have I experienced a time when one of them tried to fuck my man, steal from me, try to dim my light, leave me hanging at a time when I needed them…In fact, these relationships have done the exact opposite. When I need a pick me up they’re there hyping me up to be my best self. They push me to be great and don’t allow me to be basic or mediocre. When I need a hug, a pep talk, a venting session, a drank, a kick in the ass my girls got me covered. When someone does me dirty they are ready (and have) to ride out and square up if need be. They cute, but all of them got hands and don’t play. Lol!
I have a man and we’ve been together for 10 years…married for 6. We have a healthy thriving partnership. Don’t get me wrong. He’s my best friend and my patna. My go-to and homie, buuuttttt there is nothing like my girls. They “get me”. I mean who else will understand the frustration when my hair don’t come out right, the dilemma of the perfect outfit for an outing, the excitement when Beyonce blesses us with new music or a concert, how I just HAD to buy all the shit in HomeGoods cause it was pretty, how important the details are in a perfectly organized party or listen to me vent about how I hate my man at that moment then don’t judge me when I’m back all up under him. I mean the list goes on and on. I could never do that shit with him. Do you know how crazy it would drive me if I had to spend the rest of my life doing “girly shit” with him? I’d rather jump into traffic opposed to hearing his lack of enthusiasm or sarcasm when I’m really into something he doesn’t understand. I need my girls.
Even beyond superficial reasons I love being around them, my girls have the best souls I have ever come across. Although all of their personalities, interests and backgrounds are completely different they are all emphatic, compassionate, go-getters and self-starters, motivated, protective, supportive, affectionate, and some all-around dope individuals. They are all very intelligent with a variety of talents and skills. They are some baddies inside and out…I mean did y’all look at them? Just fine AF for no damn reason. I can’t take them anywhere without jaws dropping and receiving a plethora of attention. Still as beautiful as they are they are the kindest and most generous people you’ll ever meet. They are cool AF and approachable. Always ready to uplift strangers and they get along with other women. There is no competition. Why the hell would I not want to be surrounded by that type of energy?!
I know this is not true with just MY circle as I’ve met women out at personal and professional settings and I have more pleasant experiences than I can remember. Now, true you can run across a bitch here and there, but those instances happen far and between. As black women, I believe it is very important that we hold up other women in high regard. We are treasures and need to treat each other like the goddesses we are. There is no one in the world that understands our plight. We have been programmed to hate each other which is so unfortunate. We are the most creative, smart, trendsetting group on this planet. Everything great starts from us. Life literally comes from black women.
None of us benefits from that ”I don’t do other women” mentality. Fuck that. We need each other.
I have to mention that there are a lot of women who aren't pictured that have a special place in my heart. I ran out of space to feature everyone. From women I confide in, great freinds, mentors, colleagues, etc. I am surronded by amazing women who inspire me daily. I love them all so much.
If you don’t do so already, I challenge you to compliment the next fly woman you see out and about. Tell her that her skin is poppin’, she’s wearing the hell out of her outfit, hair laid and makeup slayed for the Gawds. Do that and watch her reaction. Watch her confidence boost as she feels good about herself tell me you don’t feel that transfer of good energy.
I’ll leave with this: if you find yourself as a woman not liking or vibing with other women you probably need change your energy and circle immediately! You’re missing out. Black women are lit and invincible together.
-Q
“Gon' pull me up, pull me up, pull me up (pull me up, pull me up, pull me up) And never let me down (They never let me down)”-Beyonce